Support and Resources for Coping with Grief and Trauma in Natural Disasters

Navigating Grief and Trauma After a Natural Disaster
Life can feel turned upside down for those affected by the LA fires and other disasters. The emotional and physical aftermath can be overwhelming, whether you’ve experienced a hurricane, wildfire, earthquake, flood, or other catastrophic event
Grief is a change you did not want. If you have experienced a natural disaster, what you are experiencing is likely grief.
Is this Grief?
Grief is not limited to the loss of a loved one or a home—it is a deeply personal response to any significant change or loss that disrupts your sense of normalcy, safety, or connection.
Grief is a change you didn’t want.
In the wake of a natural disaster, you may grieve for the life you had before, the shattered stability, the changes in your community, or the dreams and plans that now feel out of reach.
Even if you didn’t experience a tangible loss, the fear, uncertainty, and pain of witnessing devastation can leave lasting emotional wounds. Grief is not measured by what others think you should feel—it’s about your experience. The grief you are experiencing is real. Healing begins with recognizing and honoring your grief, no matter its form.
The Grief You’re Feeling Is Valid
Disasters disrupt our sense of safety and stability. Natural disasters don’t just impact landscapes, homes, and communities—they deeply affect the human heart.
You might be feeling:
- Shock, disbelief, numbness
- Anxiety or fear about the future
- Grief over losses
- Anger or frustration
- Grief brain – confusion and distraction
- Overwhelm
- Guilt for surviving when others didn’t
- Mixed feelings – such as feeling undeserving or grateful mixed with sadness
These emotions are natural responses to an unnatural and unpredictable event. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling—there is no “right” way to grieve or to process such an experience.
Gentle Steps Toward Healing
- Give Yourself Permission to Grieve: There is no “right” way to grieve. The grief you are experiencing is real. Let yourself mourn what was lost, no matter how big or small it seems.
- Name Your Emotions: Whether it’s fear, sadness, anger, or guilt, identifying your feelings can help you begin to work through them.
- Connect with Others: Community is so important when we have experienced loss, as grief can be isolating. Being with others can help us feel less alone. Attend community gatherings, step outside, check in on neighbors, and reach out to friends, family, or support groups.
- Take Care of Yourself: Give yourself the grace to slow down, sleep, or pause when needed. Eating, drinking water, and rest are essential. Even small acts of self-care can restore a sense of control and give a little more bandwidth to deal with the changes and stress of loss. Processing takes energy.
- Re-establish Small Routines: When everything feels out of order, rebuilding routines can restore a sense of stability and normalcy. Start with something simple, like a morning routine, a walk, a cup of coffee or tea, or a call with an old friend.
- Ground Yourself in the Present: Practices like deep breathing, mindfulness, noticing the details of the space around you, listening to music, or even holding an object with personal meaning can help you stay anchored.
- Recognize the Impact: I often say that freedom is found in reality. Give yourself time and space to come to terms with the changes you have experienced and their impact on you. Disasters affect the immediate moment and ripple through relationships, routines, and plans. Acknowledging these layers of effects can bring clarity.
- Give Yourself a Break: Grief brain is real. When we process stressful events and are in grief, we can become forgetful and confused. It’s common to misplace keys, repeat stories, forget to return phone calls, lose mail, forget a meeting, or have difficulty understanding the complexities of a website. Be extra patient with yourself.
- Ask for Help: Often, people around us want to provide support, but they don’t know what to do. I advocate for what I call the direct ask. Ask for help and be specific. Assign willing people specific tasks. Tell them what you need and how they can best be there for you. In addition to physical help, you can guide people in the best way to support you emotionally. Let others know what you need.
- Find Ways to Feel More Grounded: When everything feels out of control, mindfulness can help. Activities such as walking, yoga, journaling, spending time in nature, and deep breathing can help you feel connected and present in the moment.
- Get Creative: Journaling and creative expression, such as writing, painting, or discussing your experience, can be meaningful ways of self-expression and can deepen your understanding of your feelings.
- Take a Media Break: While staying informed is essential, constant exposure to disaster coverage can increase stress and anxiety. Set boundaries for your media consumption and limit overexposure to the news and social media. To rest your mind, you might even want to distract yourself with a humorous video, read a compelling novel, or re-watch a favorite movie.
- Create Moments of Peace: Look for small things that bring comfort or joy, whether a favorite song, a warm meal, a moment of laughter, a lovely sunset, or time with loved ones. These tiny moments matter.
- Lend a Hand: Helping others can make us feel more connected to our communities and gives us a sense of being able to control in a difficult time. What can you do to help those around you?
- There’s No Rush: Grief and trauma don’t follow a timeline, and the path to healing looks different for everyone. You may notice that some days will be harder than others—and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself.
- Finding Meaning: I talk about the importance of finding meaning. Over time, people may discover a sense of purpose or resilience through their experience. It’s okay if you’re not there yet—this part of the journey takes time.
How to Support Others After a Natural Disaster
- Listen Without Judgment: Sometimes, your presence is the greatest gift you can give. Just be there for them and let them share their story at their own pace.
- Don’t try to Fix Them: Grief is not a problem to be solved. Avoid offering suggestions or solutions unless asked.
- Acknowledge Their Pain: Say things like, “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” or “This must be incredibly hard.” Don’t compare what they are going through to your own experiences.
- Don’t Brightside: Listen without pointing out all of the ways they are fortunate. Grief must be witnessed.
- Be Patient: Don’t rush them. Grief has no timeline, and we all grieve in our own way.
- Offer Practical Help: Actions often speak louder than words. Offer specific assistance, such as, “I can bring you dinner on Tuesday.” or “Let me help you with errands.” Or better yet, don’t even ask. Just show up and help. Bring groceries, drop off a frozen lasagna that they can heat up on a hard day, provide a basket of easy-to-grab snacks or healthy fruits, mow the lawn, and offer to walk the dog or watch the children. Show up and lend a hand.
- Check In Regularly: Recovery is a long process, and people appreciate ongoing support. A simple text or call to say, “I’m thinking of you,” can mean a lot. The need for support will continue for weeks, months, and maybe years. Reach out, and don’t be afraid to bring the topic. They haven’t forgotten that they are in grief.
- Take Care of Yourself: Supporting someone through a crisis can be emotionally draining. Make sure you’re also tending to your well-being.
Supporting Children After a Natural Disaster
- Children Grieve Differently: I say that children are puddle-jumpers. They go in and out of the grief.
- Offer Reassurance: Remind them they are loved and safe. Your presence provides them with comfort.
- Take Care of Yourself First: As the saying goes, “On an airplane, you must put on your oxygen mask first.” Nurture yourself and get support to model healthy expression and grieving so that you can be available to care for others.
- Encourage Expression: Let them draw, write, or talk about their feelings independently and in their own time.
- Stick to Familiar Routines: Familiarity provides security. Try to maintain regular meal and bedtime schedules as much as possible and include familiar family rituals such as reading bedtime stories or favorite activities when possible.
- Answer Questions Honestly: Use age-appropriate language to explain what happened, and be patient with repeated questions.
- Let them Lead the Conversation: Answer their questions, but don’t add additional information beyond their scope of concern and understanding. Listen to what they are worried about and reassure them appropriately based on their worries and current developmental stage.