God has placed it on my heart to help Christian women, possibly men, going through grief or a loss within their lives. Having a solid faith in God, would have helped me during the past deaths and desert times I have gone through. The process of grief serves three main purposes in our spiritual development. We need the grief process for change, healing, and ongoing spiritual growth. In Matthew 5:4 (NIV) Jesus said, “Blessed are those that mourn.” Jesus teaches that those who let themselves feel grief about their bad life choices to the point that it motivates them to change their behavior, find blessings. God wants us all to reflect on life choices outside of his created intent and feel grief for the losses they create. When we don’t let ourselves feel grief over sinful life choices, we block our ability to participate in God’s grace. Jesus taught in John 9:41 “Jesus said, If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.”
Another aspect of the grief process is how grief brings about healing. The story of mankind portrayed in the Bible is that God created man in unbroken connection to Him and each other. As a result of the fall, man suffered loss. Created for a perfect love connection, but becoming out of balance with it because of sin. Proverbs 19:22 reads: “What a person desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar.” The problem that we face is that from the earliest of age in this life we at best get “failing love” from humans. Even the best of families can’t give their children everything they need because their love is imperfect.
Only unfailing love comes from God. As a result, when a human being looks to another for love in some form and doesn’t get it, they experience loss. When it happens chronically, they must look for a way to cover it up, to stop the pain. That’s why the above proverb says that it’s better to be “poor than a liar.” In this life when tend to view our temporal problems as the biggest obstacles to our happiness and freedom. However, we must suffer loss and grief in order to receive spiritual healing. Desperation comes before transformation in this aspect of the grief process.
Finally, we need the grief process for growth and maturity. James 1:2-4 reads, “Consider it a pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” When I don’t get the job I want, I learn that my security comes from God, not an employer. When my health fails, I learn that I am not built to last in this form forever. My life disappointments become a way to empathize and comfort others going through the same trials. Every loss, when persevered through with faith, creates the opportunity to get more firmly anchored in God’s providence. Ultimately, we need the process of grief to prepare for the next life. Throughout the Bible, we can find stories, teachings, and examples of how grief refines the faith of a believer.
